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【特稿】感恩有祢

 

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在信主之前我十分看重世界上的名利與金錢。我們住在白人中產階層聚居的好學區,又住在一座頗寬闊的房子,擁有豪華轎車,丈夫是老闆,自己也有一份薪酬不錯的工作,一雙兒女聰明又乖巧,我擁有別人夢寐以求的幸福生活。可是我的內心深處卻是愁苦不堪,我所擁有的一切並沒有帶給我滿足快樂。我仍然希望追求更多的物質生活。

有一天我與丈夫吵架(其實我
們常常吵架),丈夫對我說:"無論我做什麼都不合你意,給你什麼都不能令你滿足快樂,究竟怎麼才能叫你足夠?" 我也不知為何不知足。因此我與丈夫的關係非常惡劣,甚至差點就離婚了。

我的人際關係糟糕得很。首先
在家裡,丈夫是我的對頭人,丈夫的母親對我十二萬分的不滿,她來電話時, 如丈夫又不在的話,我就乾脆不接電話。與男家的關係應該說是沒有關係。我與娘家的關係也不見得好。我有四個兄弟姐妹和我住在同一個州,可是我與其中的三位都反了面,不相往來好幾年了。在職場上不尊重上司,對同事挑剔,人家出錯就非同小可,自己錯了卻是情有可原。與朋友交往也是斤斤計較,生怕被人利用了。所以我顯得冷酷高傲,難以接近。與人相處時又常常出言不遜。誰會喜歡這樣的人呢?這樣的生活多麼痛苦啊!然而事情卻變得更壞。

 

2003 年 11 月初,我的丈夫因身體不適送院檢查時發現罹患了直腸癌,動手術時發現癌症的情形比預期的更壞,因為晚期並且已經擴散到肝及肺部。醫生告知丈夫的存活率不超過兩年,那無疑是一個死亡宣告。那時我們的女兒才 15 歲,兒子才 8 歲,孩子們將會怎樣?我們的生活將會如何支持下去?我們看起來好像幸福完美的外殼頓時要塌下來了!

雖然我的丈夫很積極地尋求治
療,但是經過一年多後,他的身體狀況卻是每況愈下,他無奈地接受了現實。因為知道自己在世的時日不多了,就開始思想死後靈魂的去處。我因而想到在我工作的地方有一位姓方的同事,他是位人人稱好好先生,虔誠的基督徒,他聽說我的丈夫患了重病,他常常問候並且常常為我丈夫禱告。一次他邀請我們到他們的教會聚會。於是我就回家告知丈夫。他竟然一下就同意出席聚會。

記得初次進到教會聽到讚美上
帝的詩歌時深受感動!也驚嘆世上竟有如此能打動人心及美妙的音樂!教會顯得莊嚴,祥和又聖潔,真以為自己身置天堂呢!我也說不出那是什麼,可直覺告訴我這裡就是我的家。

我的丈夫終於不敵癌症,在 
2005 年 3 月辭世。教會的牧師不辭勞苦多次探望他,為的是要肯定我丈夫明白耶穌基督的救恩後,就在他離世前一天正式受洗歸入耶穌基督的名下。後來女兒分享說,在她與弟弟送爸爸去安寧病房的路上(因為我要駕車尾隨救急車),也是丈夫最後一次清醒的時候,對著他們姊弟倆笑得很開心,就知道丈夫對自己靈魂的去處己經很有把握——是到天家享永生福樂。我心中也得安慰。

 

陳美玲與家人合照

丈夫走了之後,我們母子三人返了教會一段日子後,一齊受浸歸在耶穌基督的名下。耶穌基督在十架上為我的罪被釘死了並三天后復活升天,坐在天父上帝旳右邊為眾聖徒祈禱。我的罪也就因此而被赦免了。聖經告訴我們:「若有人在基督裡,他就是新造的人,舊事已過,都變成新的了。」(哥後5:17)我自知對神對人也多有虧欠,從此之後,我決心改過, 自覺是個新造的人。雖然要母兼父職帶著一雙兒女渡過很多難關,但我的生命因為有主的愛住在我心內,又有教會弟兄姐妹的愛心與關懷,我在人緣方面也就改善了。例如我與兄姐們重新來往,很自然地愛嫂子們如同愛母親。她們對我的回報更是甜蜜。一向討厭我的奶奶(即丈夫的母親)生病了,我真誠的關心及探望,並煲了靚湯奉上,見到奶奶生病,身體也衰殘了不少,我心疼地摟抱她,奶奶受到感動就表示前嫌盡釋。上帝的愛威力多大啊!居然把我這樣冷傲孤清的人改變了。

奶奶常把
我們與她的合照展示療養院的人看,告訴別人那是她的基督徒媳婦與孫兒們。未信主前認識的朋友也對我說, 我現在謙和了許多。另一位教會的姊妹聽說我和奶奶能冰釋前嫌,也主動去探望她十多年未見面的奶奶,也試着原諒對方的不是。人緣改善後,我發覺原來我是最得福的那位,我也萬萬沒有想過上帝會藉着我賜福我身邊的人。我現在雖然沒有了丈夫,因為有基督的愛,日子過得滿足喜樂。榮耀歸於我主耶穌!

 

 

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

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