Chinese (Traditional) Chinese (Simplified)
Home本期文章對 “正能量” 再進深認識

【社會心】非理性思想(57)--對 “正能量” 再進深認識

 

上期談到對於 "正能量" 的思想理念﹐本人是從 "理性行為治療法"(CognitiveBehaviorTherapy)引申而來。"正能量" 是指人的思維選取以正面取向為依歸﹐因為正面的思維可影響正面的情緒﹐從而帶來正面的行為。強調 "正能量"﹐並不是 "只報喜不報憂"﹐更不是指 "相信自己會成功﹐就必然會成功" (you think﹐you will)﹐當中也要努力學習、練習﹐甚至要克服重重困難以及經歷失敗﹐才有可能成功。更重要的是即使失敗﹐也不會過於內疚自責﹐而是勇於反省﹐改良跟進。

有人或會問﹐"正能量" 能否培養的呢?我相信是可以的。不如首先自我查問﹐問題一:你是否容易因別人稍為表示相反意見﹐即打退堂鼓﹐表面是為要表示尊重對方意見而放棄自己想法﹐內裡其實是怕對質﹐怕爭辯而傷害彼此關係?如果你回答 "是"﹐便表示你可以加強訓練你的 "勇敢表達能力"(assertiveness)﹐這是有方法改進的。


問題二:你會否因為避免受到批評﹐怕不被接納﹐而不去表達自己看法和理由?如果你回答 "是"﹐便表示你可以加強訓練你的演講技巧(public speaking skills)﹐這也是有很多方法改進的。

問題三:你可否在各自表達意見之後﹐有胸襟接受對手的意見而不介意自己的意見最終不被接納﹐而仍然感到自在﹐沒有感覺氣憤或不公平如果你回答 "不是"﹐便表示你可以在看事情角度上﹐嘗試從不同角度上看﹐每個角度的好處、缺點並寫列在紙上;也可徵詢朋友意見﹐讓自己有更多層面看事情。


勝敗得失事小﹐建立良好關係及為長遠發展才更有意思。充滿 "正能量" 的人可以有更大的容納度﹐在得意時處之泰然﹐在失意時處之坦然。你可以學嗎

"正能量" 是怎樣培養的呢很大程度是看你對事情的看法﹐自信心大小﹐有沒有少許的冒險精神﹐即使遇到失敗也能承受。以下是一些在每日生活中可以點滴培養的建議﹐長期練習相信會有助增強 "正能量":

1、睡前寫下一天中發生的三件開心/感恩的事

例如 "今天看到的玫瑰花真美﹐謝謝天父";"今天好友送我一包巧克力﹐感謝同事一直對我這麼好";老公在冰冷下雪天仍去找溶雪鹽﹐真感謝他為了家的付出等﹐從正面、積極角度去看﹐讓美好幸福的心情滿溢﹐踢走焦慮或埋怨的壞心情。當你心情好﹐做事反應也會積極些﹐少些埋怨。此行動好處是讓自己有機會反思今日的事情﹐沉澱、回想﹐並在手機的 notes 中寫下﹐或是個人小記事簿﹐日後回看﹐更覺有意思。

2、經常表達感謝之情

常常向幫助自己的人表達感謝之意﹐不論是家人、朋友或同事﹐都不吝表達感謝之情。可以寫張小卡片﹐或是真誠的說聲 "謝謝"﹐都會帶給自己滿滿的正念﹐並讓人際關係變得更好。較為容易開始的﹐是藉生日送卡或精選相片﹐或是趁對方畢業典禮、搬遷、轉工、生病等有特別事情發生時送卡致賀/慰問等等﹐皆可表達你埋藏心裡的感謝之情。這是最簡單﹐又經濟﹐更有個人風格﹐特色的做法。

3、獎勵自己、為自己打氣

"正能量" 強的人會經常為自己打氣﹐欣賞自己做到的﹐為此而感恩。例如在起床時喊聲:"加油"﹐照鏡子時誇獎自己是最醒目的﹐找出自己的優點。因為人不是完美的﹐都有優點和缺點﹐放大優點、改進缺點﹐會變得越來越好。同樣﹐可以把自己有進步的(只同自己比﹐不要同別人比)﹐並在手機裡寫下。到某一階段如有 3-5 次改善﹐便買一樣心頭好的小禮物給自己作紀念﹐甚至可以和配偶分享﹐或者歡迎對方請你吃一餐私房菜!

 

Social 1

 

4、建立正向的情緒

2011 年﹐有位學者 Frey 統整了數篇研究報告﹐宣稱正向情緒可能會讓人活得更久。研究發現﹐快樂的人的壽命比不快樂的人高出 14%。保持正向情緒可以讓生活充滿 "正能量"﹐還有更多機會活得更久。近代流行的抑鬱病就是不能跳出情緒低谷﹐使自己坐困愁城。如同水可載舟、亦可覆舟一樣﹐事情成敗得失都有正反兩面﹐學習多看正向的那面﹐例如工作業績不理想﹐告訴自己下次進步空間很大﹐遠比一直自怨自艾來得更好。學習不要為過去的傷痕而流淚﹐也不必耿耿於懷﹐更不要拖帶下來﹐學習放下﹐也要忘記、寬恕﹐然後才可以再上路﹐重展新生。正如聖經也說:"喜樂的心乃是良藥,憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。"(箴言17:22)

5、幫助別人、行公益之事

有句俗話說:"助人為快樂之本" 此話一點不假﹐幫助別人、做公益這類 "利他性" 的行為﹐不只幫助了別人﹐更大的受益者是自己。有能力去做義工﹐不但會提升自己的價值感﹐更加肯定自己﹐也使自己的人際關係更加融洽﹐讓生命有良善的循環。其實幫助別人﹐可以由家人開始﹐也可以為鄰居幫忙看管幼兒或長者﹐又可以在社區參加義工组﹐教會的長者探訪隊、短宣隊。只要你肯做義工﹐一定有很多機會。

 

Social 2

 

建立 "正能量" 的方法很多﹐以上只列出數項可以經常做的﹐就是經常懷著感恩的心﹐對自己多鼓勵﹐經常保持喜樂心境及笑容﹐主動幫助別人﹐即使是小小行動﹐也是一個好的開始。

 

喜樂 Joy

喜樂的心乃是良藥;憂傷的靈使骨枯乾。箴言 17:22
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

然而,我要因耶和華歡欣,因救我的 神喜樂。哈巴谷書 3:18
yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. Habakkuk 3:18

要常常喜樂,不住的禱告,凡事謝恩。帖撒羅尼迦前書 5:16-17
Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-17

饒恕 Forgiveness

主啊,你本為良善,樂意饒恕人,有豐盛的慈愛賜給凡求告你的人。詩篇 86:5
You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you. Psalm 86:5

你不要說:“我要以惡報惡”;要等候耶和華,他必拯救你。箴言 20:22
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will avenge you. Proverbs 6:14

你們饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必饒恕你們的過犯;馬太福音 6:14
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14

你們不饒恕人的過犯,你們的天父也必不饒恕你們的過犯。馬太福音 6:15
But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:15

你們各人若不從心裡饒恕你的弟兄,我天父也要這樣待你們了。馬太福音 18:35
This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. Matthew 18:35

謙卑 Humility

敬畏耶和華是智慧的訓誨;尊榮以前,必有謙卑。箴言 15:33
Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the LORD, and humility comes before honor. Proverbs 15:33

敬畏耶和華心存謙卑,就得富有、尊榮、生命為賞賜。箴言 22:4
Humility is the fear of the LORD; its wages are riches and honor and life. Proverbs 22:4

凡事不可結黨,不可貪圖虛浮的榮耀;只要存心謙卑,各人看別人比自己強。腓立比書 2:3
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Philippians 2:3

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

驕傲 Pride

驕傲來,羞恥也來;謙遜人卻有智慧。箴言 11:2
When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

驕傲只啟爭競;聽勸言的,卻有智慧。箴言 13:10
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves. Proverbs 13:10

驕傲在敗壞以先;狂心在跌倒之前。箴言 16:18
Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18

但他賜更多的恩典,所以經上說:神阻擋驕傲的人,賜恩給謙卑的人。雅各書 4:6
But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” James 4:6

忍耐 Patience

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

並且你們要為我的名,被眾人恨惡,惟有忍耐到底的,必然得救。馬可福音 13:13
Everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved. Mark 13:13

不但如此,就是在患難中也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance. Romans 5:3

我們行善,不可喪志;若不灰心,到了時候就要收成加拉太書 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

你們也當忍耐,堅固你們的心,因為主來的日子近了。雅各書 5:8
You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. James 5:8

溫柔 Meekness

回答柔和,使怒消退;言語暴戾,觸動怒氣。箴言 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1

溫柔的人有福了,因為他們必承受地土。馬太福音 5:5
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Matthew 5:5

用溫柔勸戒那抵擋的人;或者 神給他們悔改的心,可以明白真道。提摩太後書 2:25
Opponents must be gently instructed, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth. 2 Timothy 2:25

只要以裡面存著長久溫柔、安靜的心為妝飾;這在 神面前是極寶貴的。彼得前書 3:4
Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:4

嫉妒 Envy

不要為作惡的心懷不平,也不要向那行不義的生出嫉妒。詩篇 37:1
Do not fret because of those who are evil or be envious of those who do wrong. Psalm 37:1

心中安靜是肉體的生命;嫉妒是骨中的朽爛。箴言 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

在何處有嫉妒、紛爭,就在何處有擾亂和各樣的壞事。雅各書 3:16
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. James 3:16

生氣 Anger

當止住怒氣,離棄忿怒;不要心懷不平,以致作惡。詩篇 37:8
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil. Psalm 37:8

好生氣的人,不可與他結交;暴怒的人,不可與他來往。箴言 22:24
Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered. Proverbs 22:24

愚妄人怒氣全發;智慧人忍氣含怒。箴言 29:11
Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end. Proverbs 29:11

生氣卻不要犯罪.不可含怒到日落。以弗所書 4:26
In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Ephesians 4:26

我親愛的弟兄們,這是你們所知道的,但你們各人要快快的聽,慢慢的說,慢慢的動怒,因為人的怒氣並不成就 神的義。雅各書 1:19,20
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. James 1:19,20

災難 Calamity

謹守口與舌的、就保守自己免受災難。箴言 21:23
Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity. Proverbs 21:23

民要攻打民、國要攻打國、多處必有地震、饑荒.這都是災難的起頭。馬可福音 13:8
Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places, and famines. These are the beginning of birth pains. Mark 13:8

憂愁 Worry

你們不要憂愁、因靠耶和華而得的喜樂是你們的力量。尼希米記 8:10
Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength. Nehemiah 8:10

主雖使人憂愁, 還要照他諸般的慈愛發憐憫。耶利米哀歌 3:32
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. Lamentations 3:32

凡勞苦擔重擔的人,可以到我這裡來,我就使你們得安息。馬太福音 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

我留下平安給你們、我將我的平安賜給你們.我所賜的、不像世人所賜的.你們心裏不要憂愁、也不要膽怯。約翰福音 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

應當一無掛慮,只要凡事藉著禱告、祈求和感謝,將你們所要的告訴神。神所賜出人意外的平安,必在基督耶穌裡,保守你們的心懷意念。腓立比書 4:6,7
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7

因此, 你們是大有喜樂, 但如今, 在百般的試煉中暫時憂愁。彼得前書 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 1 Peter 1:6

患難 Trouble, Suffering

義人多有苦難,但耶和華救他脫離這一切。詩篇 34:19
The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all. Psalm 34:19

神是我們的避難所,是我們的力量,是我們在患難中隨時的幫助!詩篇 46:1
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

耶和華本為善,在患難的日子為人的保障,並且認得那些投靠他的人。那鴻書 1:7
The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Nahum 1:7

為義受逼迫的人有福了,因為天國是他們的。馬太福音 5:10
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 5:10

不但如此,就是在患難中,也是歡歡喜喜的。因為知道患難生忍耐。羅馬書 5:3
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; Romans 5:3

我想現在的苦楚,若比將來要顯於我們的榮耀,就不足介意了。羅馬書 8:18
I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. Romans 8:18

因為你們蒙恩,不但得以信服基督,並要為他受苦。腓立比書 1:29
For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him. Philippians 1:29

Go to top